Let's just be friends?

How to navigate the changing context of your relationship.

Let's just be friends?
Photo by Matheus Ferrero / Unsplash

Ending a relationship is a total roller-coaster. There's lots of things that you're going to miss about each other, one of which is the friendship that you shared as a couple.

She's the person that you shared everything with - all the good stuff, the bad stuff, the mundane stuff and the exciting stuff. Now who are you going to talk to about the sandwich you had for lunch?

So, why not just stay friends? Is that even possible?

Context matters

The circumstances of your breakup are going to play a big factor in whether some sort of friendship between the two of you is going to be possible.

It's going to be easier if you've just been drifting apart than if there has been some sense of betrayal or breaking of trust.

If the breakup has been messy, then salvaging a friendship from that is going to be tricky.

Understanding your emotions

It's difficult to establish a meaningful friendship if you've still got unresolved feelings towards each other - whatever those feelings are.

If she breaks it off with you and suggests that you just be friends, that's not a great idea if you're still in love with her and hoping that you can get back together.

The sequence of events

It's probably going to be easier to de-escalate from relationship to friendship if you were actually friends before you started sleeping together. If you've got that history and shared-language of a long-standing friendship, you'll know how things work between you without the sex.

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