How to get the girl

As a general rule, women don't approach dating and relationships like it's some kind of competitive sport. But if we look at the women who seemed to effortlessly connect with other women, what might we learn from them?

Confidence

This isn't about arrogance or ego, but it's being self-assured and having some self-belief.

If you go into a conversation with doubts about whether this woman is going to be interested in talking to you, you're setting yourself up for failure.

You're amazing - give other people an opportunity to get to know you.

Contentment

There's nothing cute about desperation. Sure, it would be fun to meet new people and it would be fun to go on dates and have sex. But if that doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world - you're not defined by whether people want to date you, you're content with who you are and your place in the world.

Clarity

Being clear about your intentions is a really good starting point. It's not just about being upfront with others about what you're looking for, but also clear with yourself. What sort of connection am I looking to make with this person? Have I been clear with this person about what I'm looking for in this moment?

Commitment

No one likes to be messed around. If you say you're going to do something, you do it. If someone seems like they're trying to play games with you then you call them out and let them know that game-playing or emotional manipulation is not something that you're interested in.

This doesn't mean that you have to be looking for commitment in the sense of moving in together and settling it down, but you're committed to the intention that you've set for this encounter.

Communication

Being able to articulate what you like and what you don't like is really compelling. You don't have to be blunt, you don't have to hurt anyone's feelings, but there's no reason to leave people guessing. Telling someone that you're into them and how you'd like to move things forward is a great way to get some traction in your dating life.