Does anyone even say "Gold Star Lesbian" anymore?
This is a description we can definitely retire to the history books.
Identity is a really powerful force in shaping the way that we see ourselves, how we present ourselves to the world, and how others see us. Identity matters - the way that we describe ourselves matters.
It's also important to recognise that our identities evolve over time, and the way that we describe ourselves also evolves. It's okay to adapt - to move with the times.
Which brings us to the term "Gold Star Lesbian".
In simple terms, "Gold Star Lesbian" describes someone who has only had sex with women - they've never had sex with a man.
It's a bit of a tongue-in-cheek descriptor but also has its roots in radical feminism - it signifies the total rejection of the patriarchy.
But it's not really a term that's used any more.
We tend not to use "Gold Star Lesbian" as an identity descriptor because it assumes some sort of hierarchy of queerness - that you are somehow a "better" lesbian if you've never had sex with a man.
The term also doesn't really reflect the sexual fluidity that a lot of women experience - research indicates that only a small proportion of us have a binary approach to attraction, most of us exist on some sort of spectrum or are aroused by a personal connection as opposed to a specific gender.
Let's move forward. Let's evolve and adapt to the changing world around us. Let's retire the term "Gold Star Lesbian" and ensure that all women feel included in our queer community.
