How to keep the spark alive

You've got to put the work in.

How to keep the spark alive
Photo by Carmen Cruz / Unsplash

With a bit of relationship experience under our belt, we know that the sexual energy between you and your partner evolves as you spend more time together.

From the fiery passion of your initial dates, into something more comfortable and familiar as your love matures.

"Lesbian Bed Death" is a bit of a toxic trope, but maintaining the sexual energy within a relationship can take some work.

Here's some tips on how to go about it.

Be independent

Sure, you love spending time together, but if you're together all of the time then you never get that frisson of being reunited.

Find ways that enable you to keep some distance between the two of you, to continue to grow as individuals as well as a couple.

Maintain your identity

You don't have to always enjoy the same things. If you've got hobbies or interests that your partner isn't into, that's cool - don't sacrifice your passions in the belief that you need to be aligned on everything for the relationship to be successful. Celebrate your differences.

Embrace adventure

One really powerful thing that you can do as a couple is to try new things together. That doesn't mean that you have to be trying new things sexually, although that's absolutely a great idea, but just try anything that's new to you both - a new restaurant, a new yoga class, a new app. Keep mixing up your routines and explore things together.

Speak your love language

Maybe it's food, maybe it's gifts, maybe it's touch - however you feel most comfortable expressing your intimacy, lean into that. Discuss love languages with your partner - make sure that you're aware of how she expresses herself so that you're appreciative of that.

Travel Together

Big adventurous trips are a fantastic way to spend some quality time together, but small mini-breaks are also really worthwhile if that's more achievable for you. Travelling to new places not only gives you a project to plan together, lots to talk about, and opportunities to try new things, but taking yourselves away from your day-to-day lives also helps to focus on each other and what draws you to each other. Everyone feels sexier when they're on vacation.

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