Could you forgive your partner for cheating?
A breach of trust is difficult to recover from.
Obviously, a lot of this comes down to the dynamics of your specific relationship, but when we talk about cheating we're talking about a breach of trust in terms of who we connect with outside of the relationship.
How you respond to that breach of trust is always a fairly complicated process. Here's some scenarios that might shape your response.
It was a one night stand kind of deal
Maybe one-night-stands weren't something that you agreed on but sometimes people just need to let off steam. Maybe it's not a big deal?
There was no attempt to conceal what happened
A breach of trust is one thing, but lying about it is where things get really messy. If your partner proactively raises an encounter with you, recognises it was a breach of trust, explains the context, and wants to talk about it, then at least you've got the groundwork for evolving your relationship together.
An apology was made
It's important to recognise that whatever the circumstances, a breach of trust is a bit of an emotional blow. If your partner is making a heartfelt apology, it at least demonstrates that she recognises that her actions have had an impact on you. That's a constructive move.
Actions speak louder than words
What's really telling if there's a pattern of behaviour. Working through a breach of trust takes time and it can be tough - but if there's repeated instances where your partner doesn't seem to be playing by the rules of your relationship then you need to address what's going on.
It takes two to tango
We're in no way victim-blaming, but if there's been a breach of trust it's important to reflect on the roles that you're both playing in the relationship. Getting some counselling is a good way to establish a framework to talk constructively as to how the relationship is working and whether this is still something that's right for both of you. If you're both still committed to being together, you can then talk about how you're going to move forward and how to navigate the future challenges that you'll undoubtedly encounter.
